Regarding load order:
1. As pointed out previously, make sure to read each mod's page (especially the Posts section!) for load order advice and known conflicts and follow any directions given.
2. Use FO4Edit. You cannot possibly solve every conflict using just LOOT. This tool will show you what mod is overwriting what. Plenty of videos and instructions on how to use FO4Edit. Based on the information learned here you can either change load order or create a patch.
3. I use exclusively Vortex. You can absolutely manipulate load order in Vortex:
3a. Place plugins into different plugin groups (click 'Manage Groups' in the top bar on the Plugins page to see what order the groups are in). Most plugins are in the 'default' group. You can change the group by double-clicking on a plugin (info window should pop up on the right). Click on 'Group' and place the plugin into another group. Many plugins need to be placed late in your load order. For example, I place any mods that may affect precombines into the Faction Housing Overhaul group even if they aren't actually related to a faction or housing.
3b. Use 'Manage Rules' to fine tune the load order. I have rules here that are related to instructions from mod authors or conflicts I found using FO4Edit.
3c. As an aside, Vortex uses LOOT. No need to use it in addition.
Regarding stability:
1. The unfortunate truth of modding is that the interplay between the mods you have and the machine/environment you're running it on is too complicated for any one piece of advice to provide a 100% workable solution. That said, you will never completely get rid of CTDs, but you can get rid of consistent CTDs if you work at it. The best evidence I have of this is the ongoing somewhat vociferous debate of New Vegas Stutter Remover and New Vegas Tick Fix on Windows 10. Over the last 5 years or so, I've always installed both and swapped them in and out to see which one worked best. Except for my most recent computer, NVSR resulted in the most stable game for me. Only on my current laptop does NVTF actually do a lot better (solved a crashing problem that NVSR didn't fix). So... your mileage may vary regardless of what advice or solution you follow.
2. I used to follow modding guides that were rather prescriptive (do exactly as I say or this won't work; many also have a vision that you may or may not ultimately agree with). I had no end of problems using those. I've since switched to start simple (textures, item, and companion mods), only select one script intensive mod (SS2 in this case), then add quest mods. You can try using the Thuggyfied mod list (
https://www.nexusmods.com/fallout4/mods/41435) as a base because this modlist is geared to the lowest common denominator configuration. It is perhaps too basic in that it includes F4SE mods as an option... most are essential (primarily Buffout 4).