Civil Affairs--Chapter Four: Father Knows Best

[NDCowdy]

It has been a great read. I love that it has all been based on characters, places and ideas that are recognisable from the games plots, yet from a perspective of a character not blinkered by a set number of options. Allowing for a great many, much more satisfying and refreshing solutions to the game's stories.

 

[WetRats]

I love that it has all been based on characters, places and ideas that are recognisable from the games plots, yet from a perspective of a character not blinkered by a set number of options. Allowing for a great many, much more satisfying and refreshing solutions to the game's stories.

Needed catharsis after so many hours playing through those same limited options over and over and over.

 

[WetRats]

I spent the last couple days going back through the story and made a bunch of additions and a few revisions.

I'm not sure I improved it though, maybe the opposite.

Definitely shaved off some of the spontaneity.

I'm gonna take a few days before deciding to post anything.

I mostly changed the last chapter. Added a bit about University Point, really rubbing Shaun's nose in what happened there. I also added a bit about what the different divisions were working on under Director Li.

I like the ideas, but I'm afraid they detract from the narration, and mute the kindness Jonas showed Shaun at the end. It may have drifted from comforting to bragging.

I'm such a tortured artist!

 

[WetRats]

I didn't change a word of the Epilogue. I'm really happy with that, at least.

 

[Loci]

Thank you for pointing these threads my way, it was a wonderful read. I had a good clear image in my head for every event happening in the story, which is quite a difficult task to do in fiction. Though I did read the entire thing in Kellogs voice... it just fit so well in the first thread and I couldn't stop.

I hope King & Co are putting your tallents to good use ;;}

 

[WetRats]

Thank you for pointing these threads my way, it was a wonderful read. I had a good clear image in my head for every event happening in the story, which is quite a difficult task to do in fiction. Though I did read the entire thing in Kellogs voice... it just fit so well in the first thread and I couldn't stop.

I hope King & Co are putting your tallents to good use ;;}

At some point, I would really like to record myself reading the story.