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Civil Affairs Sidebar--Mobile Resource Equestrian Development

WetRats

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Mobile Resource Equestrian Development
Project Logs


Participants:

CHOL: Dr. Clayton Holdren, Director of Biosciences, Project Lead
MADLI: Dr. Madison Li, Director
EWATS: Dr. Evan Watson, Director of Advanced Systems
ALBIN: Dr. Alan Binet, Director of Robotics
LIBIN: Liam Binet, Synth Relations Manager
MAJOR: Major Jonas Coolwater, Project Sponsor
GLASS: Arlen Glass, Toymaker, Project Consultant
DBLAK: Dierdre Blake, Equestrian, Project Consultant

January 17, 2291

CHOL: Any progress on recovery of genetic samples?

MAJOR: Negative. Suggestions on alternative approaches?

CHOL: There are no alternate approaches. Without horse DNA, I cannot make horses.

MAJOR: They don’t have to be actual horses, just something that can fill the role of horses.

MADLI: Can you clarify what that role would be?

MAJOR: Quadrupedal All-Terrain Transport, both personal and draft. Biofueled via grazing and fodder. Capable of sustained operation without significant maintenance. Intelligent enough to function autonomously, yet capable of accepting non-verbal directions from rider. Rugged. Strong. Fast. Self-repairing from minor damage.

MADLI: That’s a tall order.

MAJOR: Cost-effective. It is essential that they be cost-effective.

MADLI: A very tall order.

MAJOR: You made HUMAN BEINGS!

CHOL: We had viable genetic material.

MAJOR: And you’re sure there was none in Cram? Everyone always believed it was horsemeat.

CHOL: Negative. Canine, feline, various rodents, at least one type of marsupial, and enough porcine that your other pet project is progressing in a far more promising manner.

MAJOR: We NEED horses. The roads will take years to rebuild enough to make wheeled transport practical.

MADLI: I would like to bring in Advanced Systems and Robotics on the project.

CHOL: I object. This project is Biosciences’ purview.

MADLI: Purview or not, this project is stalled. You will share your data with the other divisions and consult with them, or I will find someone else to lead it.

MADLI: Is that clear?

CHOL: Yes Director. I will prepare the data for distribution.

MADLI: Do not merely transfer data. TALK TO THEM. Cooperate. Exchange ideas.

CHOL: Yes Director.


May 3, 2291

MAJOR: I have a couple of outsiders I wish to bring into the project.

CHOL: Why? We have too many cooks already.

ALBIN: We have managed to cook up a working equiform skeleton for you.

EWATS: And some very promising preliminary work on a power system. It needs a great deal more careful testing, but I think we’re on the right track.

MAJOR: But have you built a horse yet?

CHOL: Clearly not.

MAJOR: I have found somebody who has done so. Thousands of them, in fact.

CHOL: Nonsense. If that were the case, then why have you been wasting our time on this?

MAJOR: Because Giddyup Buttercup was a child’s toy. I need the adult version.

MADLI: Please stop being so dramatic, Jonas. Get to the point.

MAJOR: Arlen Glass, the inventor of Giddyup Buttercup, is still alive. He’s a ghoul. He lives at The Slog. He has invaluable knowledge. And we should have even more after I send salvaging teams to the offices and manufacturing facilities of Wilson Automatoys.

EWATS: A ghoul? You expect us to allow a ghoul into the Institute?

MAJOR: Two ghouls. At the very minimum. Dierdre Blake, another citizen of The Slog, was an accomplished equestrienne before the war. She knows more about horses than all of us put together.

EWATS: This is completely unacceptable. We have managed to keep this facility radiation-free for over two hundred years. And you want to bring in ghouls? Far too many projects could be contaminated.

CHOL: They could go feral and kill us all.

MAJOR: The Institute bred Super Mutants. In this facility. Get over yourselves. They’re in.

MADLI: I agree. It is past time we began utilizing the prewar knowledge available to us. Bring them in, Jonas. I cannot guarantee their presence won’t cause an uproar, but I can promise you that any member of the Institute who shows them anything but the utmost civility and hospitality, will be brought up for review by the Disciplinary Committee and, if necessary, expelled from the facility. I’m sure Higgs and Loken would appreciate some company in exile.


August 11, 2291

MAJOR: Quite an improvement. This is the first prototype that hasn’t left me in desperate need of painkillers after a few laps around the atrium.

DBLAK: We modified the gait based on the Paso Fino. I’m not confident the comfort level will be as high once we’re able to reach a gallop, but it’s very smooth at lower speeds.

GLASS: The structure is quite sound at this point, we’re really just fine-tuning now.

MAJOR: It’s still really stupid, though.

CHOL: Brains are rather tricky, Major Coolwater.

ALBIN: A perfectly functional brain matrix is available.

LIBIN: Absolutely not. If you put a synth brain in these things, then you have created a new batch of slaves. We cannot allow that to happen.

EWATS: Why not use a robotic processing unit?

MAJOR: No robots. As we taught Arthur Maxson, robots can be reprogrammed. And if you made them robots, then sure as hell, you’d end up making them talk. Nobody needs a talking horse. Bad, bad idea.

MADLI: Is there another brain we could model from? A brahmin, perhaps?

CHOL: Not unless you want to build two-headed horses. And they really wouldn’t be much smarter than what we have now.

GLASS: What about dogs?

DBLAK: Dogs are predators. Horses are herd animals. Very different behavior.

GLASS: Dogs are smart, trainable, loyal and adaptable. Seems like bonding with humans will be a more important trait than herd instincts. Especially since they’ll have no offspring to protect.

CHOL: They’re quadrupeds. That will make controlling the equiform easier.

MAJOR: Some predatory instincts might be just what we need. Would you need to dissect, or could you get what you need without harming the dog?

CHOL: Dissection would certainly be preferable.

MADLI: But not essential.

CHOL: But not essential. Yes. It will take longer, but the animal would not need to be harmed.

MAJOR: In that case, I know just the dog.


December 9, 2291

MAJOR: This is it. This is what I need. How soon can you go into production?

CHOL: We have several more improvements scheduled, perhaps by summer?

MAJOR: I don’t need more improvements. I need this horse. I need hundreds of this horse.

CHOL: Unacceptable. There is much more work to be done.

MADLI: Clayton. You can continue to improve upon the design and implement the changes in subsequent production runs. You have worked miracles. I need you to take your day of rest.

CHOL: Very well. Thank you.

MAJOR: Thank you both. This is going to make so many things possible. You have taken a major step toward redeeming the Institute’s reputation.

MRED-23: Run more? Run now?

MAJOR: GODDAMMIT HOLDREN!
 
You probably have to me an old fart like me to get the joke in the title.
 
:heat " CHOL: Negative. Canine, feline, various rodents, at least one type of marsupial, and enough porcine that your other pet project is progressing in a far more promising manner."
:bad

:rofl
 
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